and to be a friend.... Part 1.

Happy Gorgeous Fall Day!!!

I have some thoughts I wanted to write down and share.

Last Sunday I was waiting outside my bishop's office (a bishop is similar to a pastor or a priest)

for a quick meeting.  While I was waiting I was chatting with some fellow ward members 

(a ward means the same as congregation).

I asked the question, "Hey how do people make friends?  I think I've forgotten how."

After a little bit of laughter one guy asked, "What do you mean you've forgotten!?"

"Well" I said, "If I'm going to be completely honest, I think that I've spent so much time thinking about dating and getting married and making sure I'm doing everything I think I'm supposed to do that I've forgotten how to just be friends with someone."

There was a split second when I worried that I had divulged my weakness to an unforgiving audience

and then one of my male friends spoke up, "I completely understand what you mean.  Guys are under a lot of pressure.  There's a lot of feeling guilty.  We know we should be dating and getting married but how do we get to know the girls?  The only time we have is on Sundays for three hours at church and then maybe at a few other activities scattered here and there.  So the pressure is on at church to make a good impression, but then you worry that you are not being your true self.  And everyone is in the same boat.  We are all trying to find someone but the stress is huge and becoming friends seems to fall by the wayside." 

It was very interesting to hear this from him.  From the outside he is a guy that has everything going for him.  He seems very self assured without being arrogant.  He could have his pick of amazing women as he is a truly amazing man.  And yet, to hear that he (and other men from his explanation) feel just as stressed out, scared and frustrated as my female friends and I do was interesting and alarming.  

How do men and women expect to get to know each other authentically 

when both sides are laden with stress, guilt and fear?

 

bestest story teller ever!!!!!

I grew up listening to Public Radio,

 specifically on the children's radio program

The Pea Green Boat.

I was introduced to all sorts of 

wonderful singers and storytellers for children.

Bill Harley 

is one of my favorites.

(he's from Rhode Island - here's his website

http://www.billharley.com/default.asp)

Here's a video of one of his well known song/stories:

You're Not The Boss of Me

(I'm totally bragging right now.... when I was teaching at a

Spanish school in MT he came to visit and gave us a private show 

- it was awesome - 

he was friends with some of the parents whose kids went to the school.

It's nice to have connections.)

You can buy his stuff on iTunes or through his website

P.S. if you want to laugh out loud 

I highly suggest listening to the following:

Dad Threw the TV Out the Window

Black Socks 

(for those who hate to do laundry)

50 Ways to Fool Your Mother

Zanzibar (not on iTunes)

Wheezy and the Moon Pies

(seriously my favorite one but not on iTunes)

 

and for my birthday....

I will celebrate my 35th year of being alive on 

Tuesday June 19th.

I love birthdays.

To me, they signify all that a person has survived;

a trophy of another year of laughter, tears, and all the experiences of life.

My sister recently wrote and asked, "What do you want for your birthday?"

My reply:

1. My student loans paid off

2. To see Wicked on Broadway in NYC

3. To understand men

4. Dinner at Salem Cross Inn

5. An updated wardrobe

For some reason, she didn't find my list the least bit helpful.

I think I'd like to add the following:

6. A Cuisinart food processor

7. An eraser for heart-ache

8. A Le Creuset stock pot/casserole pan

9. My little Sergio back

10. A kayak

To be honest, I don't need anything.

I have wonderful friends, a loving family, safety, health, a good job, a reliable car,

wonderful landlords, amazingly beautiful memories 

(as exemplified in photos of last years birthday bash above and below),

hope, knowledge of a loving God, and faith in a future

where I will be married to my best friend and have several lovely chubby babies!

I don't need anything.....

but flowers and chocolates will never be turned down!

Here kitty kitty...

(Homer the blind wonder cat.  Thanks to http://www.gwencooper.com/ for use of this photo.)

I love cats.  I grew up with cats.  I am also severely allergic to cats.  I may never live in a home with a cat again, but I can certainly appreciate all that there is to love about these little beasts.  I think I relate to the cat.... independent, seeks snuggling and affection, speaks up loudly when there is disagreement, and rejoices in a good spot of sun in which to lazily lay napping.

I am in the middle of reading a wonderful book called Homer's Odyssey by Gwen Cooper about her life with a blind but certainly not handicapped black cat named Homer.  The book is about Homer's unquenchable zest for living and adventure.  As the reader goes through the daily exploits of this exuberant feline we grow with the author as she traverses through the most common of human occurrences.  The story is really how one woman is taught how to embrace life from her sightless cat who doesn't realize that his blindness is supposed to be a disadvantage!

Wouldn't life be amazing for each of us if we approached the trials and downs of life with the same type of blindness!? Here is a paragraph from the book that illustrates what I mean:

"It was Homer's confidence that, in my most disheartened moments, also made me feel the most ashamed of myself.  Wasn't Homer the cat who wasn't supposed to be able to do anything?  To meet new challenges or be independent?  Wasn't he the one who'd inspired me once with his willingness to climb as high as he could without knowing exactly how high he was going or how he would get back down?  Every leap Homer took was a leap of faith.  Homer was living proof of the adage that fortune favors the brave, that just because you couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel didn't mean it wasn't there." (Homer's Odyssey, pp. 104)

So, a challenge to each of us - to let go of the fear and leap with faith.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.